My two bits…
Since the day I started writing, surprisingly, I have begun to live more. It adds to me as an individual and still lightens me up. I have begun to feel more and breathe deeper. I have developed this overbearing habit of analysing and overanalysing emotions at the minutest level and lending them a larger than life perspective for good or for bad. Mostly bad for all those around me because I have am now relentlessly absorbing a look, a thought, a connect, a disconnect and butchering it, slashing it, shredding it, slaughtering it and brooding over it, till I get to the bottom of it.
There have been times, my mind has contradicted its own thoughts and brought forth another perspective. Which one is correct, I myself do not know and really do not wish to find out because I find solace in being an evolving soul, ever changing and relishing the flow and the transience of people, things, events and situations. I thrive on change and freedom. Flowing and blowing. Like water and wind. In the confines of my mind if not physically, but flow, I must. Stagnation is death. Completion is death. I don’t like complete men and women. Complete and completely happy individuals are a myth. I believe in sensually embracing life in all its mystical hues and keep refilling my glass with the madira and somras keeping me alive and kicking, blinking and winking and getting goose bumps from living a beautiful, full life. Committing my share of mistakes and doing my share of good deeds for in each action lies a bit of life, any of which I refuse to let go without living it fully…whether in mind, soul or body.
As I am in the process of writing, mostly, I find myself living an emotion or a thought at a much deeper and intrinsic level, which otherwise may have slipped past for the sheer lack of a surface to rub it against to draw out its glimmer. So many such threads go past in so many years lived without the medium to capture them. A life less lived or rather lived at a level and a plane farther from the one now reached and the one being lived at present, possibly much farther from the one likely to be reached as the mind and soul evolve further….directionless and boundless.
Writing, definitely, is one of the best things that happened to me. I didn’t see it coming. Like most other things in life…as I refuse to make five year plans…unapologetically so, this wonder just took its own course and one fine day, I just had it in my fingertips to speak what the mind feels and what the heart desires. I wondered how to put forth my thoughts in the form of a story but probably lacked the imagination at that level. So, these bits are just the raw two bits…straight from the heart…my two bits…unadulterated and undiminished. Whatever, whenever, as a traveller on a road travelled by many but still keen to share her perspective on what she saw all the way.


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