Five Friends

When I was given this body to reside in, I too, like most, was not given a choice. I had to live life looking inside out and not the other way because the whirlpools were deep and rampant in the river that flowed inside of me. I could not complain as they were of my own making. I could not undo them as I was unaware of their existence as yet. The journey, even without the choice seemed promising and alluring. I already had five friends. They added so much flavour and charm to everything. They promised to make me experience the beautiful sensibilities that the physical world which I had come back to, for the zillionth time, had to offer. Gleefully, I held their hands and took them to be my own. All five of them.
Today, I go about my daily chores silently, managing the day and the events as they unfold. Some days I simply survive and some I live more deeply. These events and these days were written for me by my own self with a pen that was handed to me by these five. What I didn’t realise until now was that the pen they had offered to me with such a sparkling smile had an blade instead of the nib and it cut permanent vortices instead of making ink marks. These vortices were etched into my life force and were like hungry whirlpools, ready to devour all my energies. Many more are possibly taking shape even as I write because I am still learning to unlearn this way of living. Slowly I integrate into my life’s lessons the way to neutralize the existing ones and nip the emergent ones in the bud.
These five friends gave rise to desires. These five friends conspired with the two most coveted of my mentors, the Mind and the Ego. The Mind that had the power to think, gave rise to thoughts. The Ego gave rise to doubts. Both worked in tandem with the desires generated by the five friends to bring in bouts of pain and pleasure. As much pain and as much pleasure to balance it, such that the law of duality was maintained. Cognizance of the slow damage still did not come as all five of them still seemed to be the very best of friends, bringing in sensual pleasures and reinforcing the feeling that this was the highest form of ecstasy possible, until the day the scales tipped.
The day the scales tipped and the pain seemed too overwhelming to cope with, it brought with it the realization that this life could not just begin and end with flitting between pain and pleasure. There was more to be comprehended yet. This journey was solitary. The five friends who had made life beautiful in their own enticing way, albeit transiently and my revered mentors had to be left behind. There were more experiences to be breathed in, more planes to be transcended. Although we would keep meeting and bumping into each other, the rendezvous would hopefully be more like that of acquaintances.
And thus, the quest for the unknown, undefined and boundless began.
Whilst the quest has gone on and probably will go on for many lifetimes still, the fact that the undulating and meandering path has been unfolded brings solace and peace to the once tumultuous being. The destination may not be close, but the destination has been revealed.


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