We come here with a head and a heart and we build ourselves and we become someone we can hopefully relish and cherish. Sometimes we are proud of ourselves and sometimes not; sometimes embarrassed and at other times just tranquil. And although, those moments last for a very brief while, sometimes we are just happy to be who we are and the way we are. Sometimes the two entities, the heart and the head are in conflict and then we are forced to make choices.
We commit our fair share of crimes and mistakes, whatever they may be in our own little dictionaries, for we all write our dictionaries which carry our interpretations and our set of rights and wrongs. We alone have the potential to understand and realize ourselves. We alone have the potential to judge whether our actions are justified or not.
We alone are capable of causing distraught and damage to our own selves. We inflict the pain and heartache on ourselves because of our own actions. Sometimes it is with complete information and calculation that we decide to live out those actions. If we were to evade them, we would be cheating ourselves of some moments we can add to our treasure chest. However, after living them and bearing the anguish which they bring along as a free goodie, they tend to leave a vacuum for the long term.
We all nurture a huge vacuum within ourselves. Most of us, just like the icebergs, are more unrealised than realised. The only apparent way to diminish such vacuum is by filling it with little pockets of happiness and tiny transient joys, even though sometimes these transient joys may lead to not so transient sorrows. Yet, the treasure chest must fill. Finally, the vacuum gets filled with little pockets of substance and reduces in volume. With time then, within the substance more pockets of vacuum emerge. The actions are still justified. In retrospect, they have let us live our lives a little bit more.
Can I then, even remotely, try to understand or judge anybody’s actions? Can I or you decide whether what they do is right or wrong? Our characters and personalities are shaped with time and circumstances which envelope us. Only we can redeem ourselves and we can only redeem our own selves.
If we do decide to redeem ourselves, at best, someone can walk beside us, hold our hand and tell us that we are loved and cherished whether we are able to cross over or not. We are precious as we are. We are treasured and indispensible because of who we are and not because of who we are trying to become.