A relationship is not a way to clench and hold someone. It is a way to experience another soul. It is to cherish and get soaked in the beauty of a soul connect. A relationship is not a journey to be travelled together. It is rather, sharing of experiences on our own paths, sometimes holding hands and walking, sometimes sitting and talking, sometimes just reading the other soul through the eyes and letting yours be read. Our footsteps however need to be distinctly visible on our own paths and not trailing behind those of another individual.
No individual comes here to be owned and objectified by another or even to get completed by another. We tread our paths and experience others on the way. Some souls we feel like experiencing again and again because they feel connected to us in an ethereal sort of way. We try to define this experience by fitting it into a predefined format which is acceptable and recognized by people around us. Then it begins to lose its individuality. It begins to get suffocated in the clutches of that mundane rule book.
Why can we not be so habitual about everything and try not to define every experience and try not to fit it into a stereotypical format from our past? Let’s try to keep some of them out of the clutches of the trite and commonplace definitions. Please, spare me. I am seriously either in need of new definitions or rather none!
Why do all relationships eventually heave towards becoming a burden? Why do they get burdened with expectations and demands and threaten to become a time management exercise? Eventually, they start to reel under the pressures of reciprocation and egos and what is deemed acceptable…falling into line with society’s format and therefore acceptable, till they have little or no strength left in their bones. Weak tired bones, weakened by the struggle that the relationships became, weakened by the stress that the relationships had to bear, constantly trying to conform. Relationships are creators of joys and maybe also those of bigger sorrows, conflicts and harsh burdens. They are a parcel that we don’t want to let go of and toil away in the hope that the scales will tip in the direction of joys. And they do, sometimes.
It’s not the relationship that has the potential to hurt and damage. Neither does the other half in the relationship hold the power. It’s only our own expectations from it that causes the damage. We want people in certain capacities, we desire to own them and cling to them. We tend to fit them into a role we would like to see them playing and fit ourselves into one in reciprocation. Then we expect the ideal. We don’t enjoy the people around us, the people who love us, for who they are and the joys they bring to our lives. We instead want them to be ours, ours to love and to play their defined roles to perfection. We want them to become our crutches and answers to our loneliness. We try to make them the reason for our happiness. We start believing that it is their duty to somehow complete us.
Rarely, we experience bonds that travel beyond. They flout all rules of love, jealously, possessiveness, anger and ownership. The threads are invisible yet strong. Distance and silence do not diminish them. They add a spark to you and cleanse you of doubt and malice. They strengthen and add. They revive our trust in relationships. They hold on to their tags of being beautiful because they are not burdened by the expectations of being perfect and complete.
Sometimes we need shrug off the burden of egos and the stress of expectations. We need to live in the place called “here” and a time called “now”. We simply have to negotiate the distance and soak in the joys that are possible while each of us flows free. We must share all that we can without feeling weak and tired of having given too much and received too little or vice versa. While there is joyful sharing, there is synergy. While there is a mind connect, there is communication. While there is a soul connect, there is resonance. When we can share our daily lives or some snippets of them, when we can bring smiles and sometimes tears to each other’s eyes, when we can feel truly and love gently, without levying the tax of expectations on each other, is when we will set ourselves free.